Nothing much has happened since my last post. I think I've come to terms with our diagnosis, but it's taking my BF a bit longer.
It's not just the MFI that he's coming to terms with, he feels an incredible amount of guilt that we have to go through this. I don't see it like that. This is our challenge as a couple and something that we will both face together. It will take some time and a lot of reassurance, but I think we're on the right path.
I decided that I didn't want to bombard him with doctor's appointments for the next few weeks. He's the type of guy that needs time to process things like this and needs to do things when he's ready. I can wait... we've been waiting this long a few more weeks won't kill me.
In the meantime, I've been doing a tonne of research on IVF with ICSI. The thought of IVF used to scare me in the past and I never thought I'd say this, but I can't wait to get started.
It's a very strange feeling but I actually feel better now than I did the last few months. We now have a game plan, we now have options and a chance. I think I started to lose hope the last few months and I now have regained determination. I'm the type of person that needs to KNOW what's going on. Good news or bad news, I feel much better knowing what the situation is and that something can be done about it.
Answers are comforting to me.
My goal now is to comfort my BF and make sure he understands that we're in this together. I don't know if I can ever help him feel less guilty, but I will work my ass off trying.
Showing posts with label Test Results. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Test Results. Show all posts
Thursday, 8 March 2012
Friday, 2 March 2012
It's official...
We're an infertile couple.
The SA results were bad. Like really bad. Every aspect of the results are low.
At first I was devastated and nervous about breaking the news to my BF since I got the news over the phone. Our RE has requested another sample, but honestly with numbers like that, I'd be shocked to see a major difference. If the numbers are still the same, our only chance of ever conceiving is through IVF and not even plain old IVF, we'll likely need IVF with ICSI.
BF is devastated and I feel horrible seeing him feel like this. I felt bad that I encouraged us to go through this just to rock his world with this news. Neither one of us was expecting this, it was just something routine to rule him out before we get more invasive tests done on me.
It took me a few days, but I started seeing the positive side of things. Understandably, it's taking BF a bit longer to see things like I do. Things could have been worse. Instead of us finding out that his sperm count is low, we could have been told that he has no sperm at all.
I'm just so grateful that at least we still have a chance of conceiving. It may not be the good old fashioned way, but really who cares at the end of the day? If we're blessed with a bundle of joy, I'm more than happy to go through the IVF process. I just want us to be able to have kids, I don't care how they get here.
What scares me about the IVF process is the fact that even with IVF, we can still walk away without a baby. I've read countless stories where couples go through several rounds and none are successful. This is now my biggest fear. Based on the little googling I've done, chances that we'll have a baby is about 30 - 50%, but at least it isn't 0%.
In any case, I'm putting my fear aside for now and I'm choosing to look at the bright side or I'll go crazy. I'm soooooo geared up to start IVF ASAP. I feel like we're a step closer and I'm excited about that.
I would however like to say - SCREW YOU INFERTILITY! YOU SUCK!
The SA results were bad. Like really bad. Every aspect of the results are low.
At first I was devastated and nervous about breaking the news to my BF since I got the news over the phone. Our RE has requested another sample, but honestly with numbers like that, I'd be shocked to see a major difference. If the numbers are still the same, our only chance of ever conceiving is through IVF and not even plain old IVF, we'll likely need IVF with ICSI.
BF is devastated and I feel horrible seeing him feel like this. I felt bad that I encouraged us to go through this just to rock his world with this news. Neither one of us was expecting this, it was just something routine to rule him out before we get more invasive tests done on me.
It took me a few days, but I started seeing the positive side of things. Understandably, it's taking BF a bit longer to see things like I do. Things could have been worse. Instead of us finding out that his sperm count is low, we could have been told that he has no sperm at all.
I'm just so grateful that at least we still have a chance of conceiving. It may not be the good old fashioned way, but really who cares at the end of the day? If we're blessed with a bundle of joy, I'm more than happy to go through the IVF process. I just want us to be able to have kids, I don't care how they get here.
What scares me about the IVF process is the fact that even with IVF, we can still walk away without a baby. I've read countless stories where couples go through several rounds and none are successful. This is now my biggest fear. Based on the little googling I've done, chances that we'll have a baby is about 30 - 50%, but at least it isn't 0%.
In any case, I'm putting my fear aside for now and I'm choosing to look at the bright side or I'll go crazy. I'm soooooo geared up to start IVF ASAP. I feel like we're a step closer and I'm excited about that.
I would however like to say - SCREW YOU INFERTILITY! YOU SUCK!
Monday, 27 February 2012
Friday, 18 November 2011
We're surgin' baby!
She called to tell me that my blood and ultrasounds results show that I'm a 'walking sign of fertility'... wish I had a baby in my womb to prove that.
In any case, I clearly had an LH surge and she expects me to ovulate either yesterday or today and so I should 'get busy'. By yesterday evening, I had ovulation pains that I get every month and just like the nurse said, the pain was on my left side.
I know I said that TTC is stressing me out and that I would take this month off, but after my nurses' call, how could I? I got so tempted just to try this month especially since it's the first month of cycle monitoring and all my test results sound so encouraging.
For the first time in a very long time since we started TTC, BF and I had an 'awesome time' ;) It was like our pre-TTC days.
To be honest, we weren't able to BD much during the fertile window, so ovulation day is really all we were able to get in this week. I've heard most say that it's best to BD the days leading up to ovulation day, so I'm not sure how much of a chance we have this month. I'm just glad we made an attempt.
My RE doesn't seem to be concerned, but I find it odd that for the last few months, I'm ovulating all over the place. This month, I'm ovulating on CD14, last month it was CD18, the month before CD12. As a result, I'm having anywhere from 27 - 34 day cycles.
My RE says I'm still within the normal range, but I'm only concerned because until about the last 4 months, I had a regular 29 day cycle and all of a sudden, my cycles went all over the place (for me).
In any case, I'm now starting my 2WW. Since I've never been a patient person, this is the most stressful part for me because I'm listening to my body the whole time waiting to see if I feel anything. Of course by 13 DPO, I've convinced myself that I have all the early pregnancy symptoms and the red tide of disappointment comes the very next day to prove otherwise.
I'm going to try not to obsess this month and focus on other things... we'll see if I make it
Thursday, 10 November 2011
Way to go uterus!
I had my Sonohysterogram today. I'd already done quite a bit of reading before I went in, and from everything I've read, most just feel slight cramping.
I took 2 tylenols before going. It was quick, I was in an out within 15 minutes!
The procedure itself wasn't painful. In fact, I've had papsmears more painful than the sono. Even now, about 5 hours later, I have really minor cramps that are easily taken care of with tylenol. My AF cramps are 100 time worse than this.
As soon as my RE got a look, she said "you have a gorgeous uterus!"
There's clearly no such think as an awkward moment when TTC, so I thanked her. I asked her if she saw any fibroids or anything else and she said no.
She said that she can see both tubes are open.
I'm a bit confused here because I thought that only an HSG (Hysterosalpingogram) could determine blocked or open tubes.
They have you in and out of there within 5 - 10 minutes, so there really isn't much time to ask questions. I have an appointment with my RE to discuss my sono and first month of cycle monitoring in a month, so I'll ask her those questions then.
I want to request that she do a HSG to make sure I have no blockage, but I don't know if this is overkill. I just want to make sure that we leave no stone unturned.
I've heard people say the HSG is a lot more painful, but honestly, I'll take the pain to discover why my gorgeous uterus has no baby in it.
If anyone is reading and knows the answer to this, can you determine if tubes are blocked through a sono?
I took 2 tylenols before going. It was quick, I was in an out within 15 minutes!
The procedure itself wasn't painful. In fact, I've had papsmears more painful than the sono. Even now, about 5 hours later, I have really minor cramps that are easily taken care of with tylenol. My AF cramps are 100 time worse than this.
As soon as my RE got a look, she said "you have a gorgeous uterus!"
There's clearly no such think as an awkward moment when TTC, so I thanked her. I asked her if she saw any fibroids or anything else and she said no.
She said that she can see both tubes are open.
I'm a bit confused here because I thought that only an HSG (Hysterosalpingogram) could determine blocked or open tubes.
They have you in and out of there within 5 - 10 minutes, so there really isn't much time to ask questions. I have an appointment with my RE to discuss my sono and first month of cycle monitoring in a month, so I'll ask her those questions then.
I want to request that she do a HSG to make sure I have no blockage, but I don't know if this is overkill. I just want to make sure that we leave no stone unturned.
I've heard people say the HSG is a lot more painful, but honestly, I'll take the pain to discover why my gorgeous uterus has no baby in it.
If anyone is reading and knows the answer to this, can you determine if tubes are blocked through a sono?
Thursday, 27 October 2011
The Numbers Are In!
So I got the call that I'd been eagerly waiting for from the nurse to give me the results of this morning's cycle monitoring.
Despite the fact that I had been clutching my cell phone everywhere I went to ensure I didn't miss her call, I still missed it. She called while I was in the elevator (those 10 seconds made a difference).
Nevertheless, the results seem to be good based on what she said. For those of you who can decipher these things:
Ovarian function (blood and ultrasound) - Normal
Estrogen - 121 (they like to see less than 200)
FSH - 6.6 (they like to see less than 10)
Follicle Count - 11 (they like to see 6 or more)
She ended the voicemail by says that everything looks very good.
I hope everything keeps going as well as it has so far.
Despite the fact that I had been clutching my cell phone everywhere I went to ensure I didn't miss her call, I still missed it. She called while I was in the elevator (those 10 seconds made a difference).
Nevertheless, the results seem to be good based on what she said. For those of you who can decipher these things:
Ovarian function (blood and ultrasound) - Normal
Estrogen - 121 (they like to see less than 200)
FSH - 6.6 (they like to see less than 10)
Follicle Count - 11 (they like to see 6 or more)
She ended the voicemail by says that everything looks very good.
I hope everything keeps going as well as it has so far.
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