TTC is totally killing sexy time

TTC has put a strain on our relationship.

Although BF and I have been trying for a year, he's not concerned. At least, he doesn't seem to be concerned. I had originally decided to keep my RE rendez-vous a secret, but decided to tell him about them last week. He was fine with it and didn't say much... he's a quiet man.

I read a lot of TTC or IF blogs, but rarely do they talk about the strain in puts on their relationship... at least I haven't read them.

TTC has totally affected our relationships. The days of rabbit sex are a very distant, distant memory. In fact, it's becoming increasingly difficult to TTC. I try not to share too much with him in terms of when I'm ovulating, but he's not stupid. He knows that I act like an animal in heat when I'm ovulating and he insists on letting it 'happen naturally'.

I want to yell, "dude, we have to do it now or wait another 4 weeks!!". But you can't say that kind of thing without pressure the hell out of a guy... to the point of 'performance anxiety'.

We're at a point where our sex life is stressful.

We don't find it exciting or fun. It's become a job. The connection we once had seems to be diminishing. Consequently, I end up feeling like I'm doing all the work and we're arguing about it. The last thing you want to do is have sex when you're arguing -  it's a cycle.

This is really a shitty situation.

As much as I want to TTC, I'm wondering if we should take a break. I know it's counter productive considering that it's my first cycle monitoring with an RE and this would be the optimal time to month. But honestly, the last few months, I know when I was ovulating and we timed sexy time perfectly and I still ended up 'enjoying' AF's visit.

So maybe we just need to take a break.

Honestly, it's becoming a real strain. My great initiative and enthusiasm is fine and well in the workplace, but it doesn't quite translate in the bedroom when all your partner wants to do is take a nap.

I'm thinking maybe if I initiate less, he'll initiate more and if a lose a month in this TTC saga, maybe it's worth it.

After all these months of failed cycles, maybe one more isn't a big deal if it will get our relationship back on track.