Thanks for the advice!

I hate being given advice about how to get pregnant from someone who got pregnant on the first month of attempting.

Although I haven't shared the fact that we're TTC, I had a friend, who is currently 6 months pregnant, tell me that I'm getting older now and if I want to have kids, I should start trying.

Thanks for that bit of advice!

She went into expert advice about getting pregnant. The sad part is that although she may know so much more about actually being pregnant, I'm far more of an expert about attempting to 'get pregnant' than her. She had no idea when she was ovulating. She got off the pill and within a month, she was pregnant.

I felt like slapping her, but slapping a pregnant woman isn't acceptable so I just smiled and nodded.

We're awaiting my BF's SA results this week. To say that we're nervous doesn't even scratch the surface.

TTC and the Kardashians

It's 13 dpo for me today. AF is due tomorrow. To be honest, I'm so over the 2WW. So over it!

I don't know what a BFP cycle feels like, but I do know what a BFN cycle feels like and this feels just like another one. I have the same symptoms or lack thereof, so I'm assuming it will end the same way it always does, with AF coming full force.

I have an appointment with my RE tomorrow and we'll discuss what to do next.

My BF and I have discussed a semen analysis and surprisingly, he's fine with it. I clearly underestimated his willingness to do this along with me. Since he'll be travelling for most of December, we'll likely move on to a SA in January.

I'm happy to start the new year with a new approach.

In other news, Kourtney Kardashian has just announced her second pregnancy at 9 weeks!

She's not only telling her family and friends at 9 weeks, she's telling the WORLD! "You're supposed to wait 12 weeks to tell people, but I feel confident."

"It wasn't like we weren't trying," Disick, 28, says. "We kind of just said, 'If it's meant to be, it'll be.'"

So what does that mean exactly? That it isn't meant to be for the rest of us? I hate when people say shit like that. People only say that when it ends up working out.

What's sad about this is that her sister Khloe has been open about her frustrations with her TTC struggle and this idiot says things like that.

Douche!!

When babies just appear in your womb

I found myself standing behind a pregnant woman while grabbing a cup of coffee before work this morning. She looked she was almost due and I couldn't stop myself from looking at her.

I never understood why people would refer to a pregnant woman's glow until I started TTC and started to pay attention to pregnant woman.

She was having a conversation on her phone and being so close, I had to listen... not because I was nosey or anything :)

"I feel like this baby is invading my body and I can't wait for it to come out, I feel like a damn baby machine", she said as she sighed.

Since slapping a pregnant woman isn't the best thing to do, I wanted to yell at her.

This is the kind of shit women say when they can easily get pregnant. Babies just appear in their wombs without trying. I pray for the day that I can feel that a baby is invading my body.

How I'd love to be a baby machine.

At the beginning of my TTC journey, I was excited. These days, I'm finding that TTC makes me resentful of anyone who has ever become pregnant without trying and then bitches about it.

"I don't know how that happened"

I was in the kitchen grabbing a quick glass of water at work while another girl happened to be looking at the TV of streaming news while waiting for her lunch in the microwave.

Suddenly I heard her squeal, "Oh my God!!"

I looked up at the TV thinking it has to be a horrific accident, the market has crashed even more than it already has, Michael Jackson is really alive ...

Nope.

The TLC realty show, the Duggars, are having their 20th child. Michelle Duggar is 45! She got pregnant au naturel at 45!

Before leaving the kitchen, the girl ended with, "can you imagine what that woman's vaginal looks like, I'm surprised she's not peeing everywhere."

 
“We are so excited,” Michelle Duggar says  “I was not thinking that God would give us another one, and we are just so grateful.”

“I don’t know how that happened,” Jim Bob, her husband, joked.

Some of us monitor bodily fluids that we never thought we'd be monitoring, pee on sticks so that we can have sex at the right time and then pretty much stand on our heads afterwards just to get pregnant...

All while others are lucky enough not to know know how it happened.

Infertile birthdays

I've never been one of those people who gets depressed about their birthdays. Becoming one year older has been exciting for me since I was a kid.

When all my friends were falling into depression about turning 30, I was happy to be starting a new decade of my life.

This time it's different.

I'm staring 34 in the eye just a few days away and the last thing I am is excited. I usually start a new year of my life looking back and being happy about whatever I've accomplished the year before.

The last year has mostly been about TTC... and nothing has come of it.

At the start of this journey, I completely took for granted that I'd have a 2011 baby. In fact, I was more concerned about when in 2011 would be an ideal month. I remember thinking that I liked the idea of a December baby...I was such a fool!

For the first time in my life, I'm disappointed about getting a year older because that means my eggs are getting a year older too. I'm just one year away from that magical age of 35 when, according to everyone and their grandma, there will be a sharp and ugly decline in my 'fertility'. I really feel like I'm fighting the clock now.

Almost everything I did in my adult life was in preparation to start a family. I worked my ass off to set up my career in such a way that I would be able to work and raise a family. I kept my body as healthy as possible to prepare myself for pregnancy. I only dated guys who, I believed, would make great fathers.

And here I am exactly where I was last year.

Only difference is that this year, I know all about OPKs, fertile CM, DPO symptoms, BBTs, Mittelschmerz and cycle monitoring.


But I still don't have a baby.

Thanks Facebook!

A Facebook friend of mine (because it's important to indicate that this is not a real life friend, just a Facebook friend), just got married.

She changed her relationship status to 'married' and within minutes stated that :


"My awesome husband (love calling him that) and I are proud to announce that we're expecting a beautiful little baby. We're 2 months pregnant!!!!"

My first bitter thought - 'think you have enough exclamation marks?'

In all honesty, I'm happy for the couple. I'm not at the point where seeing pregnant women makes me feel sad or hearing a couple's good news makes me feel envious.

However, this Facebook announcement irked me. The fact that it didn't make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside could be because of the following:

1. I really don't care much for this girl. I connected with her because I felt bad declining her friend request.
2. How blissfully ignorant to the risks are you to announce to all 506 friends that you're pregnant at only 8 weeks?
3. I remember her saying time and time again that she never wanted to have kids.

I have a Facebook account, but I'm not one of those people who're posting every single picture taken or every single morsel of food I ate that day. I just don't think people need to know everything and truthfully, I don't think they care.

Maybe because I'm going through this TTC process, I'm starting to notice how often my 'friends' post their pregnancy announcements.

The irony is not lost on me - she never wanted kids and she's lucky enough to fearlessly announce her pregnancy before her second trimester.

Looks like I have a first class ticket on the plane to bitter-land.