Testing, testing and more testing

I feel like I haven't blogged in a while. It's been a few weeks.

The truth is that I really haven't had anything to blog about recently. Every month is pretty much the same and I hate sounding like Debbie Downer constantly.

This month I tried the 'low expectations' route to TTC. I went back to OPKs because I wanted to know exactly when I ovulated so that I know when to expect AF since it's always 14 days after ovulation for me. I wasn't excited the entire two week wait. I barely even noticed the dates, they just flew by since I wasn't allowing myself to even think about them.

I almost made it without getting excited at all. But when the day AF was due went by without any sighting of her, I got excited. Against my better judgement, I really thought that maybe this was the month (my positivity is cute).

AF made her appearance first thing the very next day.

I'm disappointed, but not anywhere as upset as I had been in the past. I've accepted that it seems unlikely that we'll be able to get pregnant the old fashioned way or at least until we discover what exactly is wrong. I know in my heart that something is wrong.

My BF has provided a semen sample for an analysis and we're waiting for the results. I know he's nervous about the results and honestly, I don't know any man who's happy to do it, but it handled it well and I'm really happy about that. We've been walking on eggshells since. We're both so very nervous about the results.

If the results are good, the next step is for me to have an exploratory laparoscopy to see if there are any other underlying issues like endometriosis that can't be diagnosed any other way.

I anticipate the next month to be a tough one for us and I'm attempting to gear up (if that's even possible) for whatever news we'll get from the SA or my surgery.